speak low if you speak love

One day, but not anytime soon,

I will be content with a man taller than me. It’d be lovely if he stays dipped. He will likely be fit, and enjoying running with me. I will go to his basketball games that he might play with his friends and I shall call ‘stupid’, but still have fun watching. I will call him ‘whack’ during his games that and refuse to kiss him, because he is sweaty. But, he will force me to and grab my face and give me a wet one. I will have a stingy, disgusted look on my face and say ‘blah’, ‘ew’ or ‘gross’, but secretly be happy he forced me to kiss him, because one less kiss from him, is one more I’ll miss. Then, I’ll help carry his stuff, and he’ll walk out with his arm around me. We will eat like pigs and be total food conoiseeurs, looking for new places to try and random, hole in the wall, underground spots to delight in. I’ll pump and pay for his gas, because I want to. He will respect my independence and understand we both need and benefit from our alone time. He won’t constantly text me, because he knows that bugs me. He’ll check up on me once in a while or text me stupid shit, like I would to him. He won’t mind my profanity and how I cuss like a sailor to him. He’ll play fight with me and accept that I’d rather call him ‘bitch’, than ‘boo’. Hahah. But, at the end, he know he’s my baby. (EW lol kinda) We’ll frustrate each other, drive one another crazy, but be so fuckin’ knocked out by love that before we choke each other to death, we’ll make up. He’ll see I’m a wildcard, and I’ll accept that he can be a smart-ass, but we’ll be enough to hold each other down.  He’ll be the one that re-teaches me how to stand lovey-dovey corny shit all over again. He’ll teach me how to tolerate it and even when I say stop, he won’t, unless he can vibe that I’m incredibly disgusted. When he’s trying to spit his game at me, I’ll insult him and teach him better lines, but give him a kiss on the head for effort. He’ll understand that our parallel, contradicting differences are what balance us out. We’ll have certain differences, but as an overall, we’ll match when it comes down to the ‘deep stuff’. We’ll check out girls together, and guys, as well. We’ll be open about our feelings. When we fight, he won’t hold back, ‘cause God know’s I don’t know how to bite my tongue. We will openlly correct and critique each other, and not take it personally, because we are just looking out for each other. But, we won’t lecture each other like a parent, ‘cause he knows I signed up for a boyfriend, not another father figure. We will both accept each other’s bad habits and respect the fact that we are human and imperfect. However, we won’t let each other drown in sin. We will acknowledge we are both jaded sinners, but push each other forward to conquer our personal demons. We will leave the past in the past, let by-gone’s be by-gone’s, because love keeps no records of wrongs. We’ll do stupid shit, not giving an ‘eff. He won’t be embarassed of me, like I won’t of him. In our relationship, we must keep that ‘homie quality’, cause he’ll know that it’s easier to make a love out of a friendship, rather friendship out of love. He’ll respect that the responsibility of our friendship is more important that the complexity of our partner roles. On top of that, he’ll long to understand what’s inside of me, before he gets inside of me. He won’t rush things, like I won’t hush things. Neither one of us will compare and contrast our past to our present and hold our ghosts against us. We will motivate one another, both striving for a common goal. We will fuel our ambitions and ride on to success. We will indulge in our passions together, because whatever is important to him is important to me and vise versa. We will do what we can to help each other get ahead. We will have deeply imbeded morals and values, because we know that is what shapes our character and character will take you places. We will understand that our goals and future come before one another, at times.. and even our agenda can be more important than our relationship’s agenda. We will mutually understnad that this is not selfishness, but the truth and grit of reality. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less, it just means we love the other more to see them reach the pinnacle of their potential. We will believe that sometimes time together must be sacraficed so we can do our priorities, first. We will reciprocate appreciation and all each other does for one another. We won’t have to be constantly with each other to be happy, because we know we both live seperate lives. He will understand that before I am a girlfriend, I am a woman, I am an individual, I am myself, Ashley. I will understand the same, vise versa. We will be honest and in tune with what’s going on. We will be two seperates, that have common threads as one.

Wtf

is wrong with me..
I have a tough exterior, but a softer, more sensitive interior. I build up walls, when secretly… I guess I want to fall in love.. I’m such a simp, shoot me.

One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want. One day, I will find the one I want.
One day, I will find the one I want.

The one I want, will find me one day.